raw

tonight I met a man who walked in North Korea. who sang songs about Jesus. who led his tour “guide” (read – guard) to Christ.

this was potentially the most unexpected thing to happen to me in the last, say, year and a half.

have you ever wept so hard you wanted to throw up?

welcome to my life.

how can I even express the deep things of my heart?

He is ripping all of my plans apart. Everything I thought I was “called” to, all those plans of mine, every thought, action, word, standard that I have ever planned is being held up and ripped apart.

oh so gently.

(amazing how He does that)

goer.sender.mobilizer.interceder…all words used to describe callings.
I certainly can’t pick one.

I want to be where He is.

That is the only thing I truly desire.

I don’t know where that will take me.

I really don’t care.

Just let me walk where He walks.

The nations? fine. America? fine. Intercession? fine. Singleness? fine. Marriage? fine. Life? fine. Death? fine. College? fine. No college? fine.

“I count all things as loss compared to the greatness of knowing Christ Jesus, my Lord…”

not just a crutch phrase anymore.

my life.

(not my own)

dead.
dead.
dead.

to live is Christ. to die is gain.

Fear not…He whispers…will you trust Me that just One thing is enough? Just Me? That a life spent seeking My face is not a wasted life but in fact is the only “life” there is?