Fascination

...a Person is so much more fascinating than a place. let us not settle for a mountain-top experience and miss out on the One who holds our hands through the mountains AND the valleys, day-by-day.

...experiences will not leave us unshaken; knowing our Maker will. unless we trust the One who is leading us, we would never dare venture out into the unknown, into the wilderness. too unsettled, too shaky, too dry...perhaps...

...yet trust implies a relationship, a knowledge intimately produced as you walk through life with Someone. how much better to be with the One we love in desolation than to be surrounded by the best this life has to offer without Him!

...like a steady undertow in my heart, these three verses have been tugging me deeper...may they do the same for you!

The steps of a man are established by the Lord, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the Lord is the One who holds his hand.

Draw me after You, and let us run together!

I shall run the way of Your commandments, for You will enlarge my heart.

Psalm 37:23-24, Song of Songs 1:4 , Psalm 119:32

Quick Thoughts on Failure

Failure does not define who you are. What you do when you fail, does.

At some point, you will fail everyone.

3 main responses to failure:

1. Avoiding responsibility
2. Assigning yourself to the condemnation “corner”
3. Falling on your knees in dependence on Christ

Remember 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 – “And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. Therefore I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ’s sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”

You put your whole hope and trust in the Lord and not in your own obedience or strength or ability to do things “perfectly” according to X standard. These things will fail you.

Psalm 37:23-24 – “The steps of a man are established by the LORD, and He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong, because the LORD is the One who holds his hand.”

Thoughts In the Wilderness

Hello there, all the way from Baja Mexico! :)

I am surrounded by desert and mountains, and I find that the Lord will often use my surroundings to teach me about Him.

Let's dive in...

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“I have been waiting 3 years for you to go deeper with Me…”

I love how blunt the Lord is.

I sit here thinking I have it all together, that my life is “on track,” that I know what the Lord wants…and with a few simple words, He wrecks me.

Thank God. Thank GOD.

I think sometimes we fear the rebuke of the Lord because we are used to harsh reprimands from our fathers and mothers. Yet, we forget Hebrews 12 – “They [your earthly fathers] disciplined you for a short time as seemed best to them, but He [our Heavenly Father] disciplines us for our good, that we may share in His holiness.”

Have we also forgotten this word? – “Without holiness [sanctification], no one will see God.” [Hebrews 12:14]

The punishments and rebukes of God directed toward believers is extremely interesting to me, because even in His wrath, His just anger toward our sin and rebellion, He never leaves us alone!

Consider what Moses wrote to the Israelites as he recounted their rebellious history with the Lord between their deliverance from Egypt and their conquests in the promised land:

“For the Lord your God has blessed you in all that you have done; He has known your wanderings through this great wilderness. These forty years the Lord your God has been with you; you have not lacked a thing.” [Deuteronomy 2:7]

Lest you think the Lord felt sorry for them, consider what Moses also says:

“Now the time it took for us to come from Kadesh-barnea until we crossed over the brook Zered was thirty-eight years, until the generation of the men of war perished from within the camp, as the Lord had sworn to them. Moreover, the hand of the Lord was against them, to destroy them from within the camp until they all perished.”

[Deuteronomy 2:14]

Throughout those forty years, the unrepentant died out, and the repentant/next generation lived before God, while still enduring His punishment.

Why do we assume His punishment means He is far from us, as believers? Yes, we are dealing with consequences, and for the record, sometimes they are consequences we deal with BECAUSE OF other people. But maybe He means those consequences to train us in righteousness so that we will NOT fall again, so that we will LEARN to fear Him, so that we will LISTEN and OBEY during our next test. Those that did not perish surely saw those who did – do we really think that was coincidental on the part of the Lord?

A perfectionist mindset says that all must be done perfectly or we are outcast, miserable, failures. Yes, our sin and rebellion will have consequences. But why do we run from Him when we are wrong instead of running to Him? Do we prefer to die in the wilderness, or live?

I like this line I heard once in a movie: “I’d rather be miserable with you than without you.” Haha – that sounds pleasant. But when facing the unknown, or perhaps when we see what we must now do because the Lord is disciplining us, it may seem miserable indeed. Hebrews 12 again says: “ALL discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.”

When we must turn and face the wilderness, let us determine we’d rather walk through it together with the Lord instead of apart from Him.

His “wilderness training” shatters our sin nature.

His grace is perfect; His training complete!

Let us follow our Shepherd, for He leads perfectly.

Amen.

pieces of my heart

If my life were a puzzle, and I a child, then perhaps my heart would be the picture.

I know the puzzle-maker; He is my Father. He alone knows the full picture; He has never shown me the box cover!

So here are some pieces of my puzzle in this ending of May and beginning of June…nothing grandiose…nothing pauperish…just my heart as I know it.

the nations – woo me; burden me.

the Word – is sooooo salty…it makes me thirst, then bids me drink.

His Spirit – is more and more dear.

His salvation – is my delight!

a bible study – deepens me.

school – though done for a season, wrestles with me.

my “job” – frustrates, delights, laughs, cries…all of these reactions are mine, on a weekly basis!

I was telling a friend that the best things about this year have been the internal workings of Christ in me.

I haven’t moved to the nations.

I have a steady job.

I go to a community college.

All is…the same? Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

Blah.

Oh, but my for my HEART.

I find it growing deeper in love with Him each day!

This is the life I’ve always dreamed of...

(Somehow, I just thought it would happen due to circumstances, surroundings, peoples…but I find these things can neither separate nor push me toward the love of Christ in and of themselves.)

Just Christ.

The simple beauty of the Gospel.

hE mAdE a WaY fOr Me

He is mine and I am His.

Unmerited grace. Undeserved mercy.

That’s my King…

my Lover…

my Friend.

Tonight is the first night I can think of in many months where I walked away from watching a movie I knew I would enjoy to spend time with the One who loves me.

There is a...newness...to this season.

All my "why's" are being wrapped up in Him - He is my answer.

As my pastor said this Sunday: The question is not "Does God love me" for He has already answered that question! The question is: Do I love Him?

Who knew what joy could be found in the answering?

For I find myself in one place dancing and laughing and crying in my room with Him, in love, only to find myself in another place where my love has failed, and I am burdened by my sin. In that place, He finds me...quiets me with His love...and makes me new.

I have never met anyone like this Man. I probably never will.

He is mine and I am His.

It is enough.

for the ladies :)

Context: I wrote this for the ladies at the Honor Academy internship here in Texas (a part of the ministry I work with). They forgo dating for a year in order to pursue their relationship with Jesus and grow in their faith...might make the blog below a little more understandable. Blessings! :)

Your worth is not based on what you do.

It was never meant to be.

Your worth comes from the price of your redemption.

Think about it – who would care about diamonds if they weren’t so expensive, so rare?

The price of a gem demonstrates its worth.

Consider this - “Even while we [you] were yet sinners, Christ died for us [you].” [Romans 5:8]

Your very Creator, your Daddy, your Beloved, your King – determined that you cost everything, and He gave away everything He had and paid His life…to have you.

Do you know what He says about you, now?

“A woman who fears the Lord is worth far more than rubies.”

He considers you the reward of His suffering.

In the same way that you would wear a sparkling engagement ring on your finger with exuberant pride and joy, so too you are like a royal diadem in the hand of your God [check out Isaiah 62].

“Oh, but I don’t deserve this!” I hear you say…

Exactly.

That has always been the point!

Grace earned is not grace.

You were never meant to earn His love, for it is freely given.

Sounds backwards, doesn’t it? Welcome to the Kingdom! J

Let’s transition a bit…

Back in the day, men were expected to pay a “dowry” price for the woman their heart loved. They would give their finest animals, their best crops – they would pay anything.

Is your man willing to pay the price the Lord is asking of him?

Your heavenly Father will not allow you to be “bought” for less than you are worth.

A man unwilling to pay that price does not understand what he is looking at.

A woman who sells herself only believes the voice of the hagglers instead of the voice of her Father.

Understand this – it is not of gold or silver that I speak, but rather of Ephesians 5. Does this man love you to the measure that Jesus Christ has loved you? Has he laid his life down for you? Does he exemplify 1 Corinthians 13:4-7? Does he bear the humility of Isaiah 53?

Being human himself, he will not be the personification of these things…but is he seeking the Lord for the grace to walk in them? Is he dependent on the power of the Holy Spirit, or is he enamored by his own strength?

I promise you this, ladies. If you find a man wrapped up in Jesus Christ, and you too are wrapped up in Christ, your hearts will be guarded, and only Jesus Himself will have the authority (in both your eyes) to allow you to begin to walk a road together. If you cannot look at a man without losing your gaze on Christ, you are not yet ready. J

So, in this season of singleness, remember Matthew 6:33 & 34 – “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will care for itself…”

In this season, I challenge you to FALL IN LOVE with your Maker. Truly, there is no other love like His! Even the best man’s love [you know…the one you will marry! J] will seem like hate when you hold it up to the love your Father has for you. Don’t miss out on the most important relationship you have in all of eternity in order to find the shadow of it here on earth.

I pray these verses over you ladies, today: “Enlarge my heart, oh Lord, that I may run in the way of Your commandments! Draw me after You, and let us run together!” [ps. 119:32 & song of songs 1:4]

Trust your Beloved, and RUN after Him!

eyes to see

haunting piercing crying EYES night day dead dying EYES blue brown hazel green EYES visions blurred obscured hopeless EYES, YOUR EYES see yearn desire burn YOUR EYES search throughout the earth YOUR EYES seek for those who will go YOUR EYES haunting piercing weeping YOUR EYES see the reward of YOUR SUFFERING.

WILL HE HAVE IT?

Wake us up, Jesus! Give us eyes to see, that we may speak of You boldly among the nations!

so you want to be a martyr?

martyrdom.

oh, that revered state of laying down one's life for something greater...for Him.

imagine this, if you will.

you stand in an arena. all alone. surrounded by thousands of eyes, voices, noises, sensations [fear is prevalent].

suddenly, the ground shakes. lions and other wild beasts appear to be rising from the earth. they are the closest thing to you, now...besides your own skin.

soon, you will not be your own, but rather a part of these wild beasts, of the crowd's imagination and memory, of the dirt you once came from.

we read these stories, if we're lucky.

perhaps some of us desire to die in such a way, hoping that our deaths will bring glory to the One we love, hoping that by our death someone else's life will become focused on Him.

but now I ask you to imagine this.

you stand in the present day. in an "arena."

business arena? entertainment arena? secular arena?

you fill in the blank...

thousands of eyes are watching you, and your Enemy prowls like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.

are you too willing to be martyred?

let me rephrase that.

are you too willing to be a LIVING martyr?

I believe it has before been called a "living sacrifice."

does your everyday living and breathing draw the eyes of thousands (or maybe just one) to Him?

do you live your life in such a way as to bring glory to His name?

or do you merely dream of a glorious death that will be invalidated by the way you now choose to live?

sometimes living for God is harder than dying for Him.

Paul said:

for to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.

he said:

it is now no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me.

can you say the same?

are you [present tense] being conformed into His image?

do you consider your life worth nothing?

or do you still treasure it?

because where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

don't be so foolish as to think that one day yours will be a glorious death if you have not yet learned how to live a glorious life.

it is a process.

it is painful.

it is a daily dying, a daily denying, a daily exchanging of your life for His.

do you live it?

will you live it?

consider this your challenge.

it's a crazy adventurous life we live with this One we call King. I challenge you to live it in such a way as to win.

I want to hear your story someday. on the other side.

don't quit.

don't "ring out."

and don't give in.

if you're down, get back up. you're not out. He is faithful, even when you are faithless. hold on to Him, and run.

I'll see you on the other side. ;)

Romans 12:1-2, Philippians 1:21, Galatians 2:20, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, 2 Timothy 2:11-13 Written October 8, 2009